Chatty Co-worker

QUESTION:

I have a coworker who sits near me that I'm not interested in being friendly with. She hasn't really said or done anything inappropriate or HR-worthy, she just insists on making small talk EVERY time I cross her path, which is all the time.

I've tried downplaying interest, pretending to be too busy, and even just ignoring her but she won't stop! I don't have time to hear about what TV shows she watched last night, I've got blogs to read, and now my blood just boils when she greets me with a chirpy "HI!" every morning. What do I do?

ANSWER:

Dear Weaksauce,

Are you a guy or a gal? Or a PUSSY?

Grow some balls already and tell this chatty lady to back the eff off. Passive aggressive headphone-wearing and half-hearted "oh heys" will not get the point across to this Friendly Fanny. You need to take her in the supply closet and give her a Tape Dispenser of Back Off, Bitch.

Or fight fire with fire. Talk her ear off until she hates your effing guts.

Love and kisses,
Fancy Advice Blog