what's with the tone? you sound like an a-hole.
Dear Weren't You My Waiter One Time?,
Yes. Yes, I sound like an a-hole. But what would you have me sound like? Have you seen the awful, maddening questions people send in? What am I supposed to do, wipe their asses and send them to the Cheer Hut to watch Scooby Doo? No, friend, these people need some Major A-hole pointed in their general direction.
But this brings up an interesting point. Who am I, the a-hole telling you how to live your life? Well, truthfully, there are two of us. One of us is more of an a-hole than the other. But we both agree that a-holery is the only way to run an advice column. Particularly one that is supposed to be Fancy.
I suppose it would be unfair of us to not leave you with some a-holeness of your very own, after all this discussion of a-holes. So here it goes:
Dude. Why you gotta go around calling people a-holes? You realize it's an a-holey thing to do? And what has it gotten you in life, other than no friends and an overdue Netflix bill? (See, I referred to an overdue Netflix bill as a way to indicate that you have neither a social life nor money. Aren't I an a-hole for implying that?)
You should try asking people why they're so AWESOME. Then maybe someone other than your angry laundromat lady will talk to you.
Fancy Advice Blog