Conservative Parents

QUESTION:

My girlfriend and i are both bleeding heart liberals. Her parents are pretty damn conservative though and she generally doesnt bring up politics with them so no one gets riled up. Shes asked me to visit them for a weekend but i dont know if i can keep my mouth shut while her father goes on another rant about how the gays and mexicans are ruining this country.

I know my girlfriends parents are pretty much in the dark about her pro-abortion, anti gun stances but am i obliged to be complicit in this lie for the sake of keeping the peace?

ANSWER

Dear Sexually Frustrated,

When's the last time you got laid?

I'm just asking because this seems like the kind of angsty question that only arises from a couple months of pent-up jizz.

But seriously. You can't keep your big yap shut for 2 days with the potential in-laws? Do you not realize that in this great country of ours, we can hold whatever views we choose? And that to get along, we all have to do a little bit of lying (your word)? And that it doesn't mean you're denying your beliefs? It's just called "being polite"?

If her father goes on a rant about gays and Mexicans, throw some old-school sexism at him. "Now, let's not talk politics in front of the delicate ladies" should do it.

Obama Is My Boyfriend,
Fancy Advice Blog

Asian Hottie

QUESTION:

I'm a cute Asian-American girl in New York City. I get attention from boys, mostly non-asian guys, actually. No problem with that, I've dated guys of many different races. The only thing is that there's always some small (or sometimes not so small) part of me that wonders if their attraction to me is mostly about my race.

I understand that people are attracted to what they're attracted to, no judgement, but it still feels icky when a guy says he has a "thing" for asians. Is it pandering? Is it racist? Am I being unfairly exoticized (I grew up in Jersey!)? Am I being overly paranoid about sexually submissive/dragon lady stereotypes? Can I ask a guy directly if that's why he likes me? Does it matter?

ANSWER:

Dear Dragon Lady,

Stop complaining.

You are a "cute Asian American girl in New York City." Aside from the fact that you're from New Jersey, YOU ARE THE LUCKIEST EFFING GIRL IN THE WORLD. Guys will always like you. Clothes will always fit you. Your hair will never get frizzy, no matter how humid it is. Jesus Christ. You have no idea how good you have it.

Hatin' Ya,
Fancy Advice Blog