Conservative Parents

QUESTION:

My girlfriend and i are both bleeding heart liberals. Her parents are pretty damn conservative though and she generally doesnt bring up politics with them so no one gets riled up. Shes asked me to visit them for a weekend but i dont know if i can keep my mouth shut while her father goes on another rant about how the gays and mexicans are ruining this country.

I know my girlfriends parents are pretty much in the dark about her pro-abortion, anti gun stances but am i obliged to be complicit in this lie for the sake of keeping the peace?

ANSWER

Dear Sexually Frustrated,

When's the last time you got laid?

I'm just asking because this seems like the kind of angsty question that only arises from a couple months of pent-up jizz.

But seriously. You can't keep your big yap shut for 2 days with the potential in-laws? Do you not realize that in this great country of ours, we can hold whatever views we choose? And that to get along, we all have to do a little bit of lying (your word)? And that it doesn't mean you're denying your beliefs? It's just called "being polite"?

If her father goes on a rant about gays and Mexicans, throw some old-school sexism at him. "Now, let's not talk politics in front of the delicate ladies" should do it.

Obama Is My Boyfriend,
Fancy Advice Blog

Facebook Relative

QUESTION:

So my 12 year old niece has a Facebook profile and she's sent me a friend request. Should I accept it? There are a lot of dick jokes and photos of me getting drunk on my wall. My sister (her mother) says it will be good for her to friend some "trustworthy adults".

ANSWER:

Dear Dick Jokes,

How old are you? How long have you been on Facebook? Don't realize you can create a modified profile for certain friends?

That's exactly what you should do. Block out all photos (other than your profile pic, and keep it clean), wall posts, and other nasty stuff. Hopefully there's some content left, otherwise I'm frightened for the quality of your life.

The real dilemma is going to be when you see all the crazy inappropriateness in your niece's profile. Do you tell her mom about the naked pictures from the Middle School Dance?, is going to be the real question.

Sext Me,
Fancy Advice Blog