Bloody Boyfriend

QUESTION:

I've been with my boyfriend almost two years. We spend tons of time together and it's pretty safe to say the mystery is disappearing fast. Morning breath, unshaven legs and beer farts are totally passe now. The only thing that remains absolutely verboten is any and all references to menstruation. He just can't deal. Like, literally putting his hands over his ears and clamping his eyes shut level of denial.

If my ladyhamper is giving me cramps because of the Curse, I want to be able to bitch about it without him running away like a scared child. How can I get him to love my Snugness Rugness all year round, even during a True Blood Marathon?

ANSWER:

Dear Obviously Pre-Menstrual Lady,

This is tricky.

Some boyfriends are oddly comfortable with periods and will put their disco stick inside your ladyhole even when blood is pouring out of it. Other boyfriends are like yours. You should go find the other kind.

You Can't Change A Man (TM)

Love & Tampons,
Fancy Advice Blog