Worst Man

QUESTION:

My friend is getting married and I'm the best man, so it's my job to throw him a bachelor party. The bride is being a real pain about it and says that absolutely under no circumstances are we to have a stripper. My friend the groom agrees to this because he's already whipped but I know that off the record he doesn't think having a girlie show would be such a big deal.

I mean, we're not talking hookers here, just some burlesque bouncing boobs. All of his friends think it would be good clean American fun, and that wifey is being a total ballbuster here. Can we just do it anyway? He ain't married yet.

ANSWER:

Dear Jerk,

Ah, I love questions that start with "My friend." "My friend likes this girl," "My friend has a rash," "My friend, I am a Nigerian prince in need of assistance." It indicates, my friend, that you are either lying or sticking your nose where it doesn't belong.

So, in your infinite Best Man wisdom, you think you can override both the bride-to-be AND the groom on this? Why do you care so hard? You sound desperate to give your best friend the Stripper Experience he never asked for. Seems to me like you and "all of his friends" just want an excuse to acquire some hawt Mammary Memories. And saying you "know" he wants some stripper action isn't the same as him telling you he wants it.

Please, Best Man, why not try to have a bachelor party that everyone can enjoy? Cow tipping, fly fishing, K-Mart shoplifting?

Can't Believe Gays Still Can't Get Married,

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