A-Hole

QUESTION:

what's with the tone? you sound like an a-hole.

ANSWER:

Dear Weren't You My Waiter One Time?,

Yes.  Yes, I sound like an a-hole.  But what would you have me sound like?  Have you seen the awful, maddening questions people send in?  What am I supposed to do, wipe their asses and send them to the Cheer Hut to watch Scooby Doo?  No, friend, these people need some Major A-hole pointed in their general direction.

But this brings up an interesting point.  Who am I, the a-hole telling you how to live your life?  Well, truthfully, there are two of us.  One of us is more of an a-hole than the other.  But we both agree that a-holery is the only way to run an advice column.  Particularly one that is supposed to be Fancy.

I suppose it would be unfair of us to not leave you with some a-holeness of your very own, after all this discussion of a-holes.  So here it goes:

Dude.  Why you gotta go around calling people a-holes?  You realize it's an a-holey thing to do?  And what has it gotten you in life, other than no friends and an overdue Netflix bill?  (See, I referred to an overdue Netflix bill as a way to indicate that you have neither a social life nor money.  Aren't I an a-hole for implying that?)

You should try asking people why they're so AWESOME.  Then maybe someone other than your angry laundromat lady will talk to you.

Be Happy,

Fancy Advice Blog